Aging Gracefully: Loving our family and ourselves through life
Aging Gracefully: Loving Our Family and Ourselves Through Life.
By Peter Mullin
November is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month. Peter Mullin writes about “Aging Gracefully,” in a chapter of his latest book, False Financial Finish Lines . Peter grew up in Saint Cloud, Minn. He brings his expertise as a professional together with his personal experiences to this idea of aging through retirement. The heart of “Aging Gracefully” is about accepting one another - including ourselves - as we are.
President Ronald Reagan is famous for many things. A part of what became his story after his presidency is his battle with Alzheimer’s. He wrote a letter where he said his thanks and farewell to the nation while he still could do so. What a hard letter to write. I can’t imagine sitting down. I imagine Reagan's loyal spouse, Nancy, at his side. He writes succinctly. He wants to tell the nation that he is not afraid. He writes, “When the Lord calls me home, whenever that may be, I will leave with the greatest love for this country of ours and eternal optimism for its future. I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life.”
Good for him. I’m sure that letter had to leave him with a sense of peace. And it certainly did bring awareness to the condition that confronts many Americans. We likely all know someone who has suffered or suffers some form of memory illness.
My Grandpa Tabor saw Alzheimer’s Disease set-in during at least his last decade of life. He treated those with mental illness. He retired late in his life. Grandma spent his remaining years shielding him from minor mistakes at first. Those minor social miscues became significant.
Once grandpa walked off at a family dinner. The local police helped us find him blocks away. Eventually, Grandpa moved to the care of a memory unit at a nursing facility. I remember seeing him there. A smile on his Polish face. (He loved that he was Polish and pierogi and his Catholic-Polish Pope, Saint John Paul II.) There was still love in his heart.
It was tough to see the door shut to Grandpa’s unit when we left. It was like watching the door shut on me for the first time, as I dropped my son off at daycare. We were helpless. He was under the care of providers and his Lord. I took another peek through the narrow window on the door to the memory unit. Grandpa was already asleep in a recliner. By the way, these changes for Grandpa didn’t come about with ease.
The strain of being a caregiver wore on Grandma, I think. She was strong up to Grandpa's last day and at his funeral. Then something changed. Grandma was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Then came dementia. My grandma, with the biggest heart in the world, was receiving care.
First by drop-by caregivers. Then the caregivers were present 24/7.
Grandma continued to live in her home throughout her remaining years. The stories remained around her, and the visits continued. Often the visits and the photos our family continued to share with her were enough to share our love. She kept the photos of her great-grandchildren next to her recliner.
Alzheimer’s Disease, Parkinson’s, dementia, and ill health in general, can afflict those we love. It forces us outside our comfort zone. Any illness –– be it mental or physical –– is difficult and calls for an ocean of grace.
I write about the late years of our lives because it’s helpful to begin with those final years in mind. How would you want to live? What would you want your family to know? What would you want to say to your community and loved ones if you no longer knew who they were?
When we imagine retirement from our early years through our 50’s and 60’s, we likely imagine our active years. We’ll catch up with friends. We’ll play 36-holes of golf and have an early dinner. We’ll chase our grandkids around wherever they may be. We’ll reignite that passion we had for music, crafts or sports. We’ll discover new hobbies like painting.
While you’re busy living, consider planning for your late years, too.
Now, I have no idea what it takes to age gracefully. I know all sorts of folks that lead examples of what aging gracefully might look like. I’ve listened to some of those from The Greatest Generation. I’ve heard inspirational stories about seniors on TV. A great tale teaches aging. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom is about a man who becomes ill with Lou Gehrig’s Disease. An old student who was caught up in the fast pace of life reconnects with his teacher. Morrie speaks candidly about life, joy, pain, and relationships.
So strive to age gracefully. Then write to me when you find out what that entails.
I have some ideas of what it means. It means deciding and reaffirming early and often that you will accept help from loved ones. That you will cherish the opportunity to relate your experience all who will listen. That you will give up your drivers license.
It means realizing that you have immeasurable worth.
Significant excerpts of this article are taken from, False Financial Finish Lines, a book by Peter Mullin. It is published with permission. Please contact Peter Mullin for permission to copy or distribute.
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Articles and Assets
What are your Priorities?
Well it’s the end of the year. I just searched on Google for “market outlook 2018.” I came up with a little over 58-million “results.”
So should you be investing in stocks in 2018? The quick answer: It’s likely a prudent part of your portfolio. But it depends on your circumstances, right?
It’s apparently popular to throw your hat in the ring.
A mantra that you hear among disciplined professionals is to “stay the course.”
Then you hear “sell high, buy low.”
Who’s right?
The relief of a disciplined strategy is that it can be tailored to you. And tailor we think you should.
Yes, it’s possible that an investor may not utilize stocks in their portfolio at all. Or you may decide to go “all in” with a diversified stock portfolio.
(Side effects from tailoring a strategy may include increased confidence & persistence, apathy toward daily market reports, and increased focus on what really matters.)
Let’s begin with the “Why” of investing for you. Then you can request 15-minutes on the phone discuss your “how.”
So “Why Should You Invest”
Life changes and our “why” of investing ought to transform with life. Some invest for sport – they like the risk/reward of investing – they’re in it for the thrill. I don’t hang with this crowd.
Most of us ought to invest for things we want. Our money & our goals are serious. By investing in a diversified portfolio we can pursue things we want.
1. Living A Comfortable Retirement: Retirement is a noun. It’s up to you to really design and live a retirement that reflects you.
2. Purchasing a Home: Home is a place to live. It can take a down payment.
3. Passing an Inheritance on to Family:
4. Student Loan Shield: This idea is important for many Millennial graduates. Student loans can dominate your budget. But instead of accelerating those payments, what if you paid your required payments, and then invested the additional money that you were going to pay against your loan balance?
5. Emergency Reserves: You probably have read that it’s prudent to keep a relative healthy amount of cash in your checking/savings. Once you’ve achieved that, then you can consider investing additional funds. Go a step further and consider a non-retirement account for you and your house. You can spend this on cars, vacations or use it just as described in #4.
The Dow Jones has seen positive results, so far, in 2017. It’s unusual and sort of uncomfortable as the independent financial advisor. Why is it uncomfortable?
What would sting & linger longer? Finding $20 in the parking lot? Or finding a $20 parking fine on your windshield?
We’ve been finding a lot of metaphorical “$20’s” (i.e. “positive results”) in our portfolios this year. So the second we find a parking fine (or a few in a row) we’ll be sure to ask if stocks are still the right place to park our money.
Complacency can work against us, Dear Clients. Just keep recalling your long-haul strategy and your “why” of investing.
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Peter Mullin is an independent financial advisor registered through LPL Financial. He lives in Rogers, MN with his family. He was born and raised in St. Cloud, MN. Mullin Wealth Management is located in Waite Park, MN.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.
Investing involves risk including loss of principal.
There is no guarantee that a diversified portfolio will enhance overall returns or outperform a non-diversified portfolio. Diversification does not protect against market risk.
All performance referenced is historical and is no guarantee of future results.
All indices are unmanaged and may not be invested into directly. No strategy assures success or protects against loss.